Overheard on LIRR: 45 Year Old, White, Balding, Thick-Accented Long Islander

• Ya gotta go to ya grandmuddas and clean up doze dead trees in ha back yahd
• Da Ronkonkama line flies…one time my buddy was drivin and I was on the train and he hit a couple of traffic lights and I beat him to awr card game in Holtsville
• I can’t stand deez gurls textin me…I cancelled my text messagin on my phone cause I couldn’t stand all deez girls textin me all da time 
• Dis train CRAWLS dis train does, I can bike ride faster den dis train - I did a triathlon 10 yeeas and fifty pounds ago
• One time I took a train to Speonk, in da middle of no whare. Only think is Speonk is 1 deli and a pond with a 1000 ducks