The Subway Ostrich otherwise known as, Sleepus shirtaoverheadess, is a small to medium sized native to LOLnyc. It is the only living species of its family, bumus hobotho.
It is distinctive in its appearance, with a long neck, denim’d pantaloons and the ability to run from MTA officials at maximum speeds of about 4 km/h (02 mph), the top land speed of any underground dweller not in a wheelchair. The Subway Ostrich is the largest living species of strap hanger and its baby mommas lays the largest egg of any living LOLNyc native. (extinct - High Line Woodpecker of the Bronx and the Staten Island Ferry Toucan)
The diet of the Subway Ostrich mainly consists of Granola bar wrapper residue and styrofoam containers of street meat with rice, though it also consumes Mad Dog 20/20 (also known by the natives as twenty twen twen). It lives in nomadic groups which dwell in MTA environments or behind newspaper kiosks.
When threatened, the Subway Ostrich will either hide itself by lying flat against the ground pretending that your car ran it over, or it will plant its head in its shirt and act as if its invincible. If cornered, it can attack with a kick from its legs and old Fila sneakers. Mating patterns differ by geographical borough, but territorial males fight for a harem of two to seven hood rats.
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throughbeingcool- reblogged this from wizbit
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wizbit reblogged this from lolnyc and added:
LMAO, this had me cracking up.
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