We all know that the primary reason for wearing headphones is so you can listen to your music while not revealing to others that you love Ace of Base and whatever new EMO vampire teen music is popular at the moment. The people of NYC won’t be caught DEAD without their iPod while they’re commuting on subways, buses, and streets.

Of course, passing the time with your favorite song BLASTING is a pastime of any urban denizen. But there are other ancillary benefits of wearing headphones while in LOLnyc. Such as…

1) Ignoring the bums and hobos that ask you for change without looking like a rude dickcock

2) Acting oblivious to the Environmental Activist douchebags standing in front of Whole Foods who try to get you to listen to them say “bro, do you want to save the environment bro?” No, you idiot but you can though. First thing you can do is to STOP handing out PAPER FUCKIN PAMPHLETS that people immediately litter.

3) Drowning out the steel drum bands that play their shitty original music in the major subway hubs

4) To muffle the fat lady who’s disregarding her 7 babies who won’t stop crying because they haven’t anything but street meat and Ecto Cooler for the last week.

5) So you can show the hot girl/guy next to you on the subway that your sensitive by blasting Jack Johnson and other emo bonfire rock music.

6) To not only mitigate the disgusting sound of the guy smacking his lips eating greasy chicken wings but also the sound of the chicken wing bones hitting the ground after he throws them under his seat because he’s a piece of shit.

Any other benefits of wearing headphones while commuting in NYC?